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Autobahn
Autobahn 'is an oddjob in the game. It is activated automatically. Objectives *Get to the airfield *Escape the Polizei *Clear the farm of Polizei *Search the farm for a vehicle Script ''During free roam, Henk calls Lis 'Henk: '''Lis, we're going to Germany. '''Lis: '''Right now? '''Henk: '''Yeah, I got a jet plane arranged at the airstrip my uncle had and It's leaving soon, so meet me there, like, right now. '''Lis: '''So, I don't have time to pack? '''Henk: '''Eh, fuck it. Just buy new once we get to Germany. '''Lis: '''Sounds fine by me. ''The mission "Autobahn" automatically starts. The player is instructed to get to the airfield The player arrives at the airfield. Upon arrival, a cutscene occurs Henk is waiting by the airplane as Lis walks up to him and addresses him 'Lis: '''Yo amigo! We really doing this? '''Henk: '''Fuck yeah! We got it all loaded up in this jetliner, fueled up, ready to go on your call- '''Lis: '''Let's get going- '''Henk: '''Right you are. ''Lis and Henk climb into the plane, with Henk closing the door behind them The scene then cuts to the Autobahn in Germany with the caption "Outside of Potsdam, Germany", with the camera focusing on a road sign. A semi truck drives by the sign and a few seconds later, the scene then moves to the cab of the semi truck, showing that Lis is driving it and Henk is in the passenger seat, the two of them singing to "Buck Dich Hoch" by Deichkind over the radio 'Lis & Henk: '''Klick dich, fax dich, mail dich hoch, grapsch dich, quetsch dich, schleim dich hoch, kick dich, box dich, schlaf dich hoch- '''Lis: ' Buck dich hoch, ja! 'Lis & Henk: ' Bück dich hoch! Komm steiger den Profit! Bück dich hoch! Sonst wirst du ausgesiebt! As they sing, Lis looks into the side mirror and sees a police car following them with it's lights on 'Lis: '''Fuck...cops. '''Henk: '''It's alright, you can fool them pretty easy. ''Lis shrugs and pulls the truck over to the side of the road. The scene then cuts to the officer walking up to the side window of the truck and addressing the two of them 'Officer: '''Schalten Sie das Radio aus...aus. ''*Turn the radio off...off* Henk turns the radio off 'Officer: '''Raus aus dem Lastkraftwagen. ''*Get out of the truck* '''Lis: '''I don't speak German. '''Officer: '''I speak English. Now get out, the two of you. '''Lis: ''*Muttering* Fuck! ''Lis and Henk exit the truck and walk around the front to speak with the officer Officer: 'Do you know why I stopped you today? '''Lis: '''No, why? '''Officer: '''Your taillights are out. '''Lis: '''Alright, uh... ''Lis pulls out a dollar bill out of her wallet and tries to bribe the officer with it 'Lis: '''How about you look the other way and go get yourself a nice dinner, yeah? ''The officer moves in to arrest Lis, with Lis struggling as the officer tries to arrest her '''Officer: '''No, I can't accept that. Now if you'll come with me, I'm going to have to arrest you- '''Lis: ''*Over Officer* Fuck! I get the only straight cop in Germany! ''As the officer moves in to arrest Lis, Henk runs over and pushes him off Lis. The officer falls backwards into the road and is run over by a police car. The police car skids to a stop as Henk yells out to Lis as the two of them run back to the truck and enter it Henk: 'We can't stay here, amigo! ''The player gains control of Lis. The player is instructed to Escape the Polizei by driving down the Autobahn. During the chase, a conversation erupts 'Lis: '''Fucking fuck! I thought you said German cops were easy! '''Henk: '''Like you said, we got the only straight cop here. '''Lis: '''Alright, so a cop refused a bribe, he gets ran over by some buddies of his, and now they're chasing us down the autobahn. Sounds like a dream to me. '''Henk: '''It'll be a dream for me too if we lost these guys. '''Lis: '''Just calm down, alright? Let me enjoy the scenery while we lose these guys- '''Henk: '''You've been enjoying the scenery since we left Berlin! '''Lis: '''Well give me shit for not coming to Germany on a regular basis! ''Once the player nears a highway exit with a roadblock further down the highway, Henk calls out to Lis 'Henk: '''There's a roadblock! Go right! ''Once the player takes the exit and begins driving down a rural road, a new conversation occurs 'Lis: '''Alright, where the fuck are we? '''Henk: '''Fuck if I know, looks like some sort of countryside- '''Lis: '''No shit. '''Henk: '''Think we can lose the cops here? '''Lis: '''You can back in Philadelphia. Not here, though, seeing as the cops here are more trained...and motivated...and funded- '''Henk: '''And less corrupt. '''Lis: '''How could I forget that? ''Further down the country road, a cutscene occurs Lis drives the truck off the road and drives it through a field before coming to stop at a farm 'Henk: '''What the fuck're you doing? '''Lis: '''Changing vehicles- '''Henk: '''What!? '''Lis: '''We can't lose them in a semi truck, or try to keep a low profile in a semi. Toss me that gun from the back. ''Henk reaches into the back of the cab and hands Lis an M12 'Lis: '''Alright, I'm gonna find something. In the meantime, cover the load, yeah? We made it this far without fucking up, I'm not gonna start now. ''The two of them exit the truck The player gains control of Lis. The player is instructed to clear the farm of Polizei, during which Lis is attacked by police officers. During the fight, Lis yells out to them 'Lis: '''Ich wirklich, wirklich, wirklich nicht, wie dies zu tun! ''*I really, really, really don't like doing this!* 'Lis: '''Ich weiß gar nicht leben in diesem Land! ''*I don't even live in this country!* 'Lis: '''Lass mich sein, ich bin ein Tourist! ''*Leave me be, I'm a tourist!* 'Lis: '''Genug für heute! ''*Enough for today!* After clearing the farm of the Polizei, a new objective comes onscreen - search the farm for a vehicle Once the player finds a vehicle, a fleet of vans, a cutscene occurs Lis and Henk are loading the contents of the stalled Semi truck into the back of two vans. Once the last box is loaded in the back, the two of them close the doors as the two of them talk 'Lis: '''That's everything? '''Henk: '''Yeah, true. Anyway, follow me, don't do anything to get the cops' attention, and we can get these paid for. '''Lis: '''Hell yeah for payday! '''Henk: '''Hell yeah too, now let's get rolling. ''The two of them climb into the vans and drive out of the farm, with police cars & vans passing them on the way to the farm as the two of them drive back to the highway and the scene fades to black Once the screen fades out, it cuts to Lis laying on her bed in her house and getting up, speaking to herself 'Lis: '''Eurotrip...can't wait for next time! ''Mission Passed Alternate Cutscene ''NOTE: This cutscene only plays if Lis doesn't take the exit on the highway scene''' ''Lis is driving towards the roadblock on the highway, focusing on the road as Henk yells at her 'Henk: '''You missed the turnoff, you fucking idiot! '''Lis: '''I'm not the idiot, you're the idiot for thinking a big rig can't bust through a few cars- ''Suddenly, Lis is shot in the head by a policeman's bullet as the cab is riddled with gunfire. Henk yells out to Lis, who is now slumped over the sterring wheel 'Henk: '''Fuck! Lis! ''Henk is then shot in the head himself German Vehicles *German Sedan 1 - Wartburg 353 *German Sedan 2 - Mecedes W220 *German Station Wagon - Audi A6 Wagon *German SUV - Mercedes W164 *German Van - Volkswagen Transporter T4 *Police Wagon - BMW 5 Series Wagon *Police Van - Ford Transit police car *Lis & Henk's Truck - Iveco Stralis *Old Farm Van - Barkas box truck